Thursday, February 26, 2009

Stuff White People Like

I think this is one of the funniest lists I have EVER stumbled upon!!!! Now I have to make a STUFF BLACK PEOPLE LIKE list!!!! Take a look at this list and let's start one for the black folks. I'm gonna throw some random stuff out like Kool Aid, Hennessy, KFC, Coconut Hair grease, incense, chrome rims and weave. We can put them in order later. Let me know what you come up with.

Here's the list for WHITE PEOPLE:

Can't Get A Job?

Don't walk up to my truck at a traffic light begging me for money. No I will not roll down the window and listen to your sob story. I don't want to smell your funky ass breath. I don't have ANY spare change.... I need every penny. I get up every morning and drag my ass to work so I can make ends meet. That 50 cents you begging me for is for my daughter's Flaming Hot chips!!!

Sound harsh? Well that's life. My taxes pay for homeless shelters, food programs, welfare, state medical expenses and so much more. So why should I give your drug addicted ass my money so you can score or go buy a beer?

The last time I was nice to a beggar was a sunny day in 2002. I was working in Arlington, VA and waled over to the deli for lunch with a coworker. I can't even describe how hard this dude was begging and trying to capture the sympathy of every pedestrian walking by. I didn't say a word as we walked in but overheard him ask for money for food. So as I placed my order for a chicken strip meal, something came over me. I added the cheapest combo to my order, a cheese burger combo with fries. I asked the cashier to bag it separately as I planned to give it to the beggar outside. As we exited the place I handed him the bag. He looked at me and asked "What is this?" I defiantly said "Food!" He looked me straight in my eyes with disappointment and asked me why I didn't get him anything to drink!!!! I told that dumb ungrateful asshole, "You're standing next to a water fountain!" He just gave me a blank stare with eye boogers and all. No "Thank you" no nothing. I walked away as my coworker laughed uncontrollably. I looked back when we reached the intersection and saw that the bag of food was on the sidewalk unopened.

Never again.

There are too many options out here for any able bodied person to make money. There are illegal immigrants that make more cake doing odd jobs than the average 30 year old with citizenship. I'm not taking no more excuses. I'm not listening to anymore stories. I worked with a forged work permit since the age of 14 and been grinding ever since. So when I pay my taxes... I already served you bum. Now go get one of those signs from Payday Loans and stand on the corner pointing in the stores direction. At least I will respect you.

Tuesday, February 24, 2009

Chicago Larry & Caviar

Ok, I know I wasn't the only one cringing when Caviar was talking to her so-called photographer / pimp AKA Chicago Larry. That dude creeped me out. He sounded like a child molester!!!!

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I am so glad Ray had the common sense to test her, ask her questions and check his caller ID!!!! She got what she deserved. Ladies, in the end... guys like that will spill the beans. Ray knew the dude and he fessed up, telling him that Caviar was there for exposure. DUH!!! You couldn't tell that already????

Who is this dude? Anybody got pics???

Sunday, February 22, 2009

Q-Tip

Q-Tip
The Renaissance

This is one of the HOTTEST and most slept on albums this year. This is new, yet classic hip hop. You can listen to the whole thing from top to bottom without skipping a track. Q collaborates with Norah Jones, D'Angelo, Raphael Saadiq and even Amanda Diva on this album.

Fight / Love & Shaka are my two favorites.

Tracklist

	Track	Duration	Listeners
1	Johnny Is Dead full track	3:01	16,913
2	Won't Trade	2:41	6,173
3	Gettin Up	3:18	15,506
4	Official full track	3:19	16,143
5	You full track	3:02	14,962
6	WeFight/WeLove full track	4:48	588
7	Manwomanboogie full track	3:06	1,223
8	Move full track	5:50	14,059
9	Dance on Glass full track	3:01	14,173
10	Life Is Better full track	4:41	1,489
11	Believe full track	2:57	1,478
12	Shaka full track	3:33	12,504

Ay.... that boy is BAD!

Friday, February 20, 2009

Pictures from my camera phone

Chanel

You can dress me in Chanel any day! Here are some of my new favorites. In my dreams of course! From the classic sunglasses with the big rims designed for that diva to the sporty Chanel Logo dress to the casual Chuck Taylor inspired athletic shoes... Chanel continues to stomp with the big dogs.

Even the accessories are fashion forward, using high quality resins, bold colors, and demonstrate the unparalleled look of Chanel. The bright bags of the season use leather to create the infamous logo on the side of the bag below.

If I could, I would dress in Chanel everyday. But until I become a millionaire.... it just remains a DREAM.

You know someone like this! - The Remington Wallace Burnett Story

A friend sent me this video a while back. I am posting it because it is too funny not to share!!!! Everybody knows someone like this. Enjoy!

BLACK INSIDE: The Remington Wallace Burnett Story
Remington is a closeted African American who must tell the world that he is...black.

BLACK INSIDE: The Remington Wallace Burnett Story - watch more funny videos

Thursday, February 19, 2009

DRUGS ARE SCARY

I never understood why anyone would smoke crack, meth, heroin or any drug of the sort.... it's all pretty surreal to me. In this day and age... doesn't everyone understand the effects of drugs? Didn't Rick James tell us that "Cocaine is a hell of a drug"? Well drug addicts are alive and well... and attacking the innocent. Here's a perfect example... you won't believe your eyes! What would you do????

Now that was an example of a violent user. The lady in this next video echoes the same story told by so many other addicts. It just makes me wonder WHY people take their first hit. Her first hit was for LOVE. She wanted to be like her lover... the saddest thing I ever heard.

This was also shocking and very intriguing to me for some reason.... this chick said she loved crack more than life itself. I swear this is a parallel universe on Earth:

What NOT to Wear

I always wondered why people come out of the house looking like this. My daughter yelled OH MY GOSH when she saw this chick. This is very unflattering. Not to mention she stayed slumped over the basket the entire time. Stand up! Get some posture...

It's not about being big.... it's about being sloppy.

Monday, February 16, 2009

Ray J Made the Right Choice

Even though I do not like Caviar..... Ray made the right choice. How you gonna be on the show and be married???? Then ON TOP OF THAT say you not gonna get divorced until you find somebody else??? That's stooooooooooooopid dumb. Here is what you didn't see on the show:

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Honestly, if I were him, I would have ended the date immediately. This woman's husband could KILL him... I mean really.... anybody that's 5'7" could smash Ray J in half.... so he made the right choice. How long will Caviar last? Next episode, I'm betting on her.

So is Danger preggers with Ray J's baby? Let me do some research.... HMMMM!

Dirty Hotels YUCK!

I have worked in hotels for over 10 years. From the 5 star hotels to the Red Roof Inns... you really need to know how filthy the rooms, kitchens and facilities are. The hotel I currently contract for is 4 star diamond hotel (YEAAAH RIGHT!) Any day of the week you will find roaches crawling in the kitchen and hotel cafeteria. There are gnats flying around in the restaurant... to the point where I refused to eat during a client tasting.

Ladies and gentlemen, this happens at alllllll hotels! Do you know that hotels do NOT wash the comforters and pillows? They will replace the pillow case but we all know that slob and other bodily fluids can soak through. They will replace the sheets as well... but please do not use the comforters!! They are covered in fecal matter, blood, semen, and all types of yucky stuff. You can only rest assured if the hotel has duvet covers, those are the only types of blankets / comforters that are washed on a daily or check out basis.

Momlogic.com reported on January 3, 2009 that a 22 month old boy choked on a USED CONDOM in a New Jersey Homewood Suites. By the time the mother tried to pull the condom out of his mouth, he had already INGESTED part of the condom and its contents. The young boy had (and continues to be) to be tested for all types of diseases including HIV and and Hepatitis. The family is suing the hotel.

ABC News did a black light test at 5 star resorts in New York, Miami, Houston and LA. Almost all of the rooms showed traces of urine on the carpet, bedspreads, even on the walls! Dried semen and blood was all over the rooms, especially on the remote controls. From ABC News: "While cleaning crews may dust, vacuum and disinfect daily, most hotels say they do deep cleaning only four times a year, on average -- unless stains are visible. But most unsuspecting hotel guests aren't prepared for the surprises Primetime found, like urine on a hotel Bible. "

Ok... so no.... I'm NOT DONE YET!!!! What about those sparkling hotel drinking glasses? They look clean? You better think again. Watch this and you will NEVER use that glass again!

Times Square's Hotel Carter tops list of dirtiest hotels in America.

Biting bed bugs, mildew, filthy hallways and even a decomposed woman's body under a bed has earned this dirty dump it's infamous title. And for $130 a night, you can enjoy a night here too!!! This poor guy spent $145 on a double double and left with this:

Hotel Carter: Small price - big consequences

So what do you do? Ask questions before you book your room!!! Ask about cleaning policies. Bring disinfectants like Lysol and other cleaning supplies. ALWAYS remove the comforter unless they explicitly tell you that they are cleaned on a check in / check out basis. Clean the remote - always! Take a look around... under beds, behind dressers and desks to ensure the room has been properly cleaned BEFORE you get cozy.

Hey.... don't say I didn't warn you!

Sunday, February 15, 2009

Valentine's Day... Harris County Jail, TX

Yes.... the above photos show female inmates getting visits on Valentine's Day. As you can see they are excited... and doing the most!!! LOL

Lovie Daniels says goodbye to her son, Elliot Johnson who is serving a sentence, at the Harris County Jail facility. "God puts us through these things for a reason," Daniels said who was reciting scriptures from the Bible to her son during her visit.

Some "smart" individuals wrote notes because of the high noise level inside the visitation area.

So... how was YOUR Valentine's Day????

(( These images were taken from Chron.com. I was not at the damn jail! ))

Jesus Emails

I'm just wondering about those emails our friends and family love to forward about prayers and blessings. Are we really 'bad Christians' if we don't send them to 7 people within 7 minutes? Does Jesus monitor our email? Can we lose our life savings or loved ones if we don't? I'm just asking. Who made up these types of emails? And what do you do if you get one that you've already forwarded? Do you ignore it or forward it again? Hmmm... That's been on my mind.

http://www.danpearce.co.uk/files/jesus.jpg

Nasty and Good

This is a post from Facebook that was my status question a while back. This is just for laughs so enjoy!!!!

Edit

Miki wants to know why stuff thats so nasty feels so damn good???? 11:59am - Comment - Like Unlike - Show Feedback (73)Hide Feedback (73)

You like this.

Qu Roach at 12:07pm January 12 via Facebook Mobile

WHA?!?!?!?!??????

Miki Deucesrwild Delane at 12:08pm January 12 via Facebook Mobile

LOL... u know what I mean. Taking a dump... ahhhh LOL LOL LOL

Tameshia Workingonme Blackshear at 12:09pm January 12 via Facebook Mobile

I was bout to say elaborate plz......

Cyrkle Lomax at 12:10pm January 12

This can go sooooo many ways!

Keilah Jackson at 12:10pm January 12

Me and Trina are cracking up and yet feeling grossed out!

Miki Deucesrwild Delane at 12:11pm January 12

Yeaaahhhh... y'all know what I'm talkin about. Don't be scurred. List a few things!!!

Qu Roach at 12:12pm January 12 via Facebook Mobile

LMMFAO!!!!!!!

Qu Roach at 12:14pm January 12 via Facebook Mobile

scratchin....ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

Miki Deucesrwild Delane at 12:15pm January 12

Gettin that toe jam out....

Qu Roach at 12:17pm January 12 via Facebook Mobile

ROTFLMMFAO!!!!!

Dove KelssuperwomenDove at 12:17pm January 12

Like digging that big ass Booger out ya Snout!!LOL

Qu Roach at 12:17pm January 12 via Facebook Mobile

cleaning ears. MAN!

Qu Roach at 12:18pm January 12 via Facebook Mobile

Kelly!!!! LMMFAO!!!!!

Qu Roach at 12:19pm January 12 via Facebook Mobile

crackin my joints gives me great pleasure....ahhhhhhhhhh

David D. Moore at 12:19pm January 12

breaking those ass hairs that got knotted together... LOL

Miki Deucesrwild Delane at 12:19pm January 12

Cleaning your ears right will send a chill thru your body!!!!

Kelly.... yeah.... them big boogers coming out... you be like... oooohhhhhh

LMBAAAOOOOO

Dove KelssuperwomenDove at 12:20pm January 12

Dead @ Moore

Miki Deucesrwild Delane at 12:20pm January 12

iHollered @ Dave

OMGGGGGGGGGGGG

Me and Kelly in here DYYYYYYYYYYYYYYING

Qu Roach at 12:20pm January 12 via Facebook Mobile

EWWWWWWWWWWWWWW.....dingle shytty....LMMFAO!!!!!!

Miki Deucesrwild Delane at 12:20pm January 12

I can't breathe

Tameshia Workingonme Blackshear at 12:26pm January 12 via Facebook Mobile

Gettin out bad gas!

Miki Deucesrwild Delane at 12:28pm January 12

Yeah Tameshia.... I try not to laff when I'm in a public restroom and hear people pooting while they peeing.

Unless Kelli is in the stall with me. One time we BUSTED OUT LAFFIN at this lady settin it off in the next stall!!!!

Royce Dackfootspecialist at 12:29pm January 12

Miki TwentyPearls Delane at 1:19pm January 12
Cleaning your ears right will send a chill thru your body!!!!
-------------------
I agree. this might be the best one.

Qu Roach at 12:30pm January 12 via Facebook Mobile

pullin ur drawers out ur azz....ahhhhhhhhhhhh

Miki Deucesrwild Delane at 12:31pm January 12

Qu... you don't do the wedgie move???? LOL

Fugg it... man down... you goin in huh??? LOL

Dove KelssuperwomenDove at 12:31pm January 12

Yeahhhh..I agree Qu

Miki Deucesrwild Delane at 12:32pm January 12

Y'all need to get on THONG status!

Tony Delane at 12:34pm January 12

LOL like that time I put a booger in Miki drink! hahahahahaha... So nasty but felt sooo goooood.

Miki Deucesrwild Delane at 12:35pm January 12

I hate you Tony.

Jesika House at 12:45pm January 12

Moving in your seat, trying to scratch your*, cause you know everybody watchin but you just gotta get it.......

Qu Roach at 12:46pm January 12 via Facebook Mobile

girl I pull them too.....ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

Miki Deucesrwild Delane at 12:47pm January 12

Jesika... that's the chair dance!!! LOL

Dang Qu!!!! LMAAAAOOOO

Dove KelssuperwomenDove at 12:49pm January 12

that Hark thats trapped in the back of your throat..and you cough it up ..Lawd Thank Ya

Qu Roach at 12:49pm January 12 via Facebook Mobile

LOL!

Jesika House at 12:49pm January 12

LMBO!

Miki Deucesrwild Delane at 12:49pm January 12

Yes... that lougie!!! OMG... I hawked one off in the cafeteria soup one day!!!! It was black bean....

Dove KelssuperwomenDove at 12:52pm January 12

OMG!!! OMG!!!

Tony Delane at 12:52pm January 12

you hawk more than a toofless cowboy chewin snuff @Miki

Miki Deucesrwild Delane at 12:53pm January 12

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO @ Tony

And for the record... it was an accident.

Tony Delane at 12:56pm January 12

some innocent fuzzy unibrow housemen (my neighbor) accidently sucked down some extra thick gummy flem with bits of monkey bread in it.

Qu Roach at 12:57pm January 12 via Facebook Mobile

EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW.....

Miki Deucesrwild Delane at 12:59pm January 12

LOL!!! Well I warned my staff that I lougied the black bean soup....

This was Hyatt Arlington Tony. And me and Rick was DYIN LAFFIN watching the exec staff savor that soup!!!!

Jesika House at 1:00pm January 12

GROSS @ Tony!

Dove KelssuperwomenDove at 1:02pm January 12

Ewww...my tummy hurts now. Between the hark in the black bean soup and Tony's neighbor sucking down Extra Thick Gummy Flem I can't take it anymore
<<<<<<>

Tony Delane at 1:02pm January 12

that is why I don't eat Hotel:
* Soup
* pastries that sat around
* fountain drinks (fruit flies)
* water served in them rooms ICK!

Qu Roach at 1:04pm January 12 via Facebook Mobile

dunggin n a parkin lot.

Miki Deucesrwild Delane at 1:05pm January 12

And those DoubleTree cookies are packaged by people not wearing gloves. That ish used to gross me out. And dude was FUNKY.... I mean a mule in the summertime FUNKAYYYY!

Miki Deucesrwild Delane at 1:06pm January 12

Qu.... what the hell u be doin n the parkin lot???? *side eye*

Qu Roach at 1:08pm January 12 via Facebook Mobile

plantin dung bombs...LMAO!

Tony Delane at 1:08pm January 12

QueCeefur aint got no damn morals. Shittin in the parkin lot. Pissin behind the tree at work. Sheesh.

Jesika House at 1:09pm January 12

Qu, I would feel so nasty after that.......I dont know if i could do that......I think that topped the list.....what do you use as toilet paper?

Miki Deucesrwild Delane at 1:09pm January 12

I just fuggin died.

Tony Delane at 1:09pm January 12

...The Washington post

Miki Deucesrwild Delane at 1:09pm January 12

She got McDonalds napkins in the glove compartment.

Tony Delane at 1:09pm January 12

...Bible paper

Qu Roach at 1:12pm January 12 via Facebook Mobile

I use the fall leaves....LMAO!!!!

*jus spit my water all ova my phone*

Miki Deucesrwild Delane at 1:13pm January 12

OHHHHHHHHHHH SHIT! (literally)

Tony Delane at 1:14pm January 12

your ObGyn be like thats not VD thats poison ivy! Hahahaahahha...

Qu Roach at 1:14pm January 12 via Facebook Mobile

when ur guts bout 2 bust and theres no restroom n site, u will go....LMMFAO!!!!

Jesika House at 1:15pm January 12

LMBO @ Tony!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Tony Delane at 1:15pm January 12

iCried!!!! Qu is this yours? http://i10.photobucket.com/albums/a109/eh666/dog_shit.jpg

Miki Deucesrwild Delane at 1:16pm January 12

DEAD DEAD DEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAD!!!!!!! OMG!!!!!!!! LOL

Jesika House at 1:16pm January 12

EEEEELLLLLLLLLLL Miki! NOT IN THE PARKING LOT!

Qu Roach at 1:16pm January 12 via Facebook Mobile

LMMFAO @ tony!

Miki Deucesrwild Delane at 1:17pm January 12

I want to slap Tony so bad right now.... OMG!!!!!!!!!!!!

Qu Roach at 1:20pm January 12 via Facebook Mobile

watch ur step, I had spinach last night....LMMFAO!

Jesika House at 1:20pm January 12

That was nasty Tony *throwing up*

Miki Deucesrwild Delane at 1:22pm January 12

Ole Popeye chunks.....

Tony Delane at 1:26pm January 12

Professional advice: Spinach don't chunk it. Its spirts it. Usually with gas pushing it down in turn causing you to have to go more.

Qu Roach at 1:31pm January 12 via Facebook Mobile

this was the funniest!

Tiffany Price at 1:46pm January 12

Ok y'all are crazy as hail! What in the world are y'all doing all day? Miki whatmade u think of it?

Miki Deucesrwild Delane at 2:03pm January 12

I havent done ANY work today Tiff.

I don't know why I think of stuff like this. I need a shrink! LMAO

Jesika House at 2:06pm January 12

Im at home......On facebook, hotmail, and school........It's ok though...this is fun!